As much as it totally SUCKS typing out these words (because that makes them real) - I had another panic attack. My first one in two years.
I started the Anxiously Creative website & blog back in 2019 after what felt like my world had been flipped upside down. In 2019 I moved across the country, was living in a new city, started a new job, and after the "shiny new life" wore off... I met a new friend: anxiety.
The interesting thing about living with anxiety is that you can either make friends or enemies with it. A therapist once told me that it's important to invite anxiety into your life as if you were graciously learning a new friend. Well, I had an issue with that because I don't know anyone would want to spend time with something they absolutely hate. Something that makes them wish they would just go away. Something that made them want to hightail it out the back door. Anxiety was not my friend then and I can't confidently admit it is now.
I feel like "anxiety" and "panic attack" are thrown around like buzzwords these days, and as much as I am a grump saying that, it feels true. Unless you experience the painful stomach clenching, nascar racing heart palpitations, and panic to get to the nearest hospital - I don't think you understand just how consuming an attack is.
However, my goal here is not to play victim and act like I can't take control of my own life. I want to connect with people who experience the same spirals. I want to create a space that nurtures safe conversations for those of us who suffer from time to time.
I am writing this post for me, for you, and for those who will experience these mental olympics anxiety stages for us. Life is for living, and when our mental illness tries to steal the show - remember there are tools that will help us win back gold.
I'll leave you with a few mantras I repeat to myself when I'm feeling stuck:
Nothing is permanent.
You have control.
You are not alone.
Leave a comment or DM me if you are also experiencing mental health struggles and let's find a way to work through the mud together.