"The idle mind is the devil’s playground.”

Personal story: This picture was taken exactly 10 days before I experienced my first panic attack and was sent to the ER.

Up until a few months ago, I was really struggling with my new life in California. The much needed and anticipated move across country to a relaxed west coast lifestyle was the one that smacked me with the reality of relentless anxiety after 8 years of constant-stimulation-on-the-go-glorified New York City livin’.

They say “the idle mind is the devil’s playground” and to an extent that’s what happened to me. When your life consists of early morning subway commutes / meetings with long work days / dance class / events / too many happy hours after work & traveling on the weekends 〰️ there isn’t any real time for your brain and body to connect.

I was 18 when I moved to NYC and 26 when I left. Those 8 years flew by as I grew from a teenager to an independent & successful woman who felt like she had experienced everything under the sun. The problem here was I never took time to process the growing pains. Emphasis on the pain. 

The human psyche is a complex place and I sure as hell haven’t figured mine out yet. However, what I do know is that I’m finally thankful for the time with the "devil" on the playground. It was a trick mirror forcing me to internalize and spend some quiet time alone. I now understand myself in ways I never did before and vow to continue this self exploration ~ even when times get tough.

Long story short, I know I would have experienced those panic attacks at some point in life if I stayed in my old over stimulated routine, but going through that bump late last year gave me the opportunity to sit down with my adult self. To listen without any distractions to grab for. To build Anxiously Creative. 🦋🌞〰️

Leave a comment

Please note, comments must be approved before they are published